ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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