Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
