East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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