omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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