tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
