I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
