You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
