You work out of a Hotel?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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