Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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