So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
