just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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