I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
