Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
