i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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