i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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