You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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