I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
