its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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