i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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