dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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