I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
