I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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