So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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