I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize