If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
