Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
