Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
