this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
