Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
