i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
