Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
ttyl tear gas
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize