ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
