Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize