Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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