Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
