everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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