Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
