I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
