last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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