i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
