that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
