New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
