Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
