I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
