6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
