I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
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All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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