hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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