he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize