Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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