I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
