This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
