it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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