i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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