i think my mom watched the whole time
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
