Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize