I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
