Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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