planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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