I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
