i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
