Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize