put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think I sprained my soul last night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
